Karen*
Photo: Erik Wilson
Karen used to own a home in an upper middle-class neighborhood in Bucks County, where she and her husband, Jonathan*, were raising their two teenage sons. But when Jonathan was diagnosed with lung and brain cancer in 2006 and had to stop working, the couple was forced to sell their home and move into a small apartment. Karen’s salary as a preschool teacher covers the rent and medical bills, but leaves little left over to feed her family.
“Before my husband got sick, I didn’t have any idea what a food pantry was. I went to one for the first time three years ago. We didn’t have a choice. I cried hysterically that first time. I was embarrassed, ashamed, I felt like I was the biggest slug on the planet. But you tell yourself, get over it, you have kids to feed.
If it wasn’t for the food pantry, I don’t know what I would do. I pick up a bag of groceries every week—canned fruits and vegetables, pasta and marinara sauce, cereal. It’s been a wonderful help.
Fresh produce is what we miss the most. My kids like apples, oranges, grapes, bananas, but they’re so expensive. Once in a while, I’ll break down and buy a few apples, and my kids will go through them in no time. The other day, we were in the dollar store, and you know those fruit snacks? They were five for $1. So I thought, what the heck, and I bought it. My son was so happy to eat even that—it wasn’t even real fruit—that it made me cry. I had to go into the other room, because I felt so silly crying over something like that.
My kids suffer when it comes to food. When you don’t feed a family properly, it’s not good. We’ve all gained weight from eating starchy things, whatever is cheapest. I also have diabetes, so I should be eating more protein.
It’s a daily struggle. Not so much breakfast, because we have things like cereal, and my kids get free lunch at school. It’s dinner. Dinner is the hardest. It’s very quiet at our dinner table sometimes. And it kills me that my kids don’t always have enough to eat.
I never expected my life to look like this. My husband and I both have college degrees. We’re not supposed to be struggling like this. Now we live paycheck to paycheck, but we’re doing the best we can.”
*Karen and Jonathan asked us not to use their real names, because many of their friends, co-workers and neighbors are unaware of their situation.